“It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.” – Mr. Spock

This is a nice restatement of what Paul said, about doing what he doesn’t want to do, and not doing that which he really does want to do.

It’s so true in marriage! We want a good relationship, we want peace and light and joy…but a small slight, an unintentional offense…they get our dander up, and we’re all claws and teeth, defending our supposed dignity and “personhood”.

We’ll take offense at things that, in a friend’s words or actions, would just bring a laugh.

We don’t want to do it, but there’s this compulsion, a kind of auto-da-fe that makes us put a torch to our mate in our own private Inquisition.

And the close warmth we could have slips away, replaced by armed neutrality.

Want that?

Didn;t think so.

 

 

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