“Life is not about what you’ve gained, but what you’ve done.” – Wong Ka Kui

We often enter marriage looking for gain; someone to make our dreams come true, someone to love us, someone to be our anchor when life gets sideways.

As the song says, “Someone to watch over me…”

These are wonderful things, but they are byproducts of something else.

They are the result of your love, given unstintingly, and unreservedly, even when the person you’re married to is difficult or impossible to love. (Obviously, this doesn’t apply in the case of abuse.)

Loving is what you do in marriage, and that love is made manifest in acts small and large, none of which demand or expect a quid pro quo.